Matt
Schlatter 3/22/12
Position
Paper
Introduction:
Imagine growing up with two moms and
feeling uncomfortable in your own house. Such is true for one of my close
friends, whose dad died and mom married a woman. Although the awkwardness of
having same sex parents for him has subsided, his life will never be the same
again. This second mom of his, whom he calls his “aunt”, cannot come close to
reciprocating the relationship he had with his father. Furthermore, because his
new parent is a woman, it makes him miss life with his dad even more. Although
my friend was not adopted, this issue ties into gay adoption because it
illustrates the difficulty of living with and accepting same sex parents. All
children should have the benefit of having a mother and father, who can assume
their appropriate gender roles in raising them properly. A mother cannot take
on a father role, and a father cannot take on a mother role. Therefore, gays
should not be able to adopt in the first place because the notion of “proper”
parenting is flawed.
Statement of Facts:
Similar to gay marriage, gay adoption
brings up the question of entitlement for homosexuals. Conservatives question
the legitimacy of gay marriage by citing the traditional definition of marriage
as the coming together of a man and a woman in ceremony. I believe a similar
definition for adoption, at least in the way it should be done, sounds
something like, “the taking in of a child by a person or family that is capable
of caring for it.” I do not see a gay couple as capable of taking care of a
child. My argument, just like most against gay adoption, is constructed around
the needs of the child. Gay parents are not beneficial to a child; they are
only hurtful. Having parents capable of loving and providing a favorable
environment to grow is a crucial element in any child’s life, however, it is
most important in the case of an adoption. Adopted children are placed in a
difficult situation: new family, new peers and new surroundings and the
transition should be as easy as possible. In no way, shape, or form do gay
parents make this transition easy on an adopted child.
Argument:
While there are many reasons why gays
adopting children is wrong, three immediately come to mind. First, gays cannot
biologically have kids. I believe when heterosexual parents witness their child
being born, and know that the birth is conditional on their behavior; it is a
very unique experience. This is because childbirth is sacred, and humbling. It
gives parents an extra incentive to properly care for and raise their child.
Gays will never feel the satisfaction of seeing their own child be born, and
are never provided with that instinctive ability to parent as a result of that.
Second, adopted children will
question why two dads or two moms are raising them, when most other kids have a
mom and a dad. In a CNN article published in 2007, an adopted child from Guatemala
with two dads questions where his “mom” is. His fathers tell him he has
grandmothers and aunts but no moms. And the boy responds, “ok”. The article
also makes a reference to Mother’s Day, and how Mother’s Day for him is a day to appreciate his grandmothers, not what Mother’s Day should be.
Finally, a third reason why gay
adoption is hurtful to a child is because of the reactions of their peers.
Kids, especially younger ones, are susceptible to bullying. Is there a better
target for a bully to pick on than a child with two moms or two dads? It’s not
hard for kids to find out about unusual situations like that. After all, kids
love spreading “secrets”. The chances that an adopted child with gay parents
will be harassed or questioned by their peers is much greater than those of a
child from a conventional family. April Martin, a lesbian and psychologist, in
her Lesbian and Gay Parenting Handbook, admits she experienced plenty of
anti-homosexual bias and issues her child had growing up with lesbian parents.
This could be prevented simply by not adopting!
Refutation:
Gay and lesbian activist groups and
liberals will say that everyone has the right to a family. When they say this,
they are too busy promoting the rights of homosexuals that they forget that the
right to a family applies to children too. In fact, it’s much more important
for a child to have a family than an adult. A family consists of a mother,
father, and a child. And there is no person that needs a family more than an
adopted child.
Another argument pro gay adoption
people make is that a child with gay parents does not have a greater chance of
being gay than a child with straight parents. This is true, however; the
torment this child will receive, the inner struggles he will deal with as a
result of being “different” from everyone else, and having to grow up around
the abnormal behaviors of his parents will be equal of that of a gay person.
Conclusion:
Gay adoption is an issue where the
child’s needs should be first and foremost. It is not the issue of gay people
being together, but the issue of whether or not they are capable of caring for
children. I believe they aren’t. Adopted children need a stable environment,
preferably one with a mother and father. Having two mothers or fathers is even
worse than having only one parent. Low self-esteem, bullying, and a feeling of
rejection are all consequences of having gay parents during childhood. I can’t
imagine being adopted into a new family, which is hard enough, and being seen
with two moms or two dads in public. It’d be downright embarrassing for me and
for them. Adopted children should be relegated to straight couples only, and
should have the benefit of calling their parents “mom and dad”.
Works Cited
Gandossy, Taylor. Gay Adoption: A New Take on the
American Family. CNN, 25 June 2007. Web. 9 Apr. 2012. <http://articles.cnn.com/2007-06-25/us/gay.adoption_1_gay-adoption-straight-parents-williams-institute?_s=PM:US>.
Jones, Eliot. "IDEA: International Debate Education
Association - Debate Resources & Debate Tools." IDEA: International
Debate Education Association. 27 Oct. 2000. Web. 12 Apr. 2012.
<http://www.idebate.org>.
Martin, April. Introduction. The
Lesbian and Gay Parenting Handbook: Creating and Raising Our Families. New
York: HarperPerennial, 1993. Print
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